Inside the Barrel

This is the beginning of a journey for me. A new way of expressing and more importantly remembering all the many emotions, adventures and lessons that have recently been surfacing in my life.
I have become aware.
I want to share.

The origin of my BLOG was seeded in the most recent creation of Mr. David Gassner’s The Broken Mirror in which, entries are conceived through the perspective of others. I realized through this method, how significant every relationship in my life has ever meant. How, because of other’s opinions/intentions, they have helped shape the person I am today. I am no longer the self hating, pessimistic, co-dependant girl I once was. Today, I embrace the playful side of life. I love who I am - and am becoming. I am optimistic, believing in the good intentions of most and I take care of myself. I have seen so much, so soon. I have experienced love and betrayal. I have held death in my hands. I have fought through trauma. I have been beaten and neglected. I have seen the inner hell that can fester inside of my gut and through it all I have been able to see the beauty in each of my situations, embrace it and grow. Today I really, really love to smile.

It was Tuesday. I took some time before my shift at work to nurture the irrepressible giggle wanting to come out of myself. I decided to get my favorite fountain soda at the mall and ponder over Dave’s newest hobby... I also went ring shopping. It seems silly - but that is because it is silly. I do not have a fiancé nor do I have anyone wanting to purchase me a ring or the finances myself to ever afford such an extravagant piece of jewelry. However, off I went to play make believe. I have always found joy in reviving lost dreams of romance and “fooling” the sales ladies that encourage me to continue my game. It was a short visit to Charm Diamond Centers and after several minutes of teasing myself I had to part with the those beautiful diamonds on my finger, bring myself back to reality and head off to work. I left glowing. I laughed the whole way to work. Such a simple experience had sent my head whizzing with thoughts and daydreams. I realized its important to do things that make you happy. I love to help and make others happy. I think that goal can be possible through Unicorns Eat Peaches.

Before I can continue I must give credit to a few of those who have recently affected my life...who brought me to life...and some, who were given the role of antogonist. I appreciate you also. (Thank you xoxo):

Jeff - for breaking my spirit in every way possible. You taught me strength, endurance and hope. Without you I would never have been humbled and I would never have learnt lesson #1: RESPECT and APPRECIATE the good people in your life
Dave - for sticking through the roughest times and making me laugh. You were my break away from the abuse and your patience was everlasting. You were the foundation for my first step up. You taught me to keep on truckin’.
Tyler - for being a “whore” and for being persistent. You made me realize I deserve love and will receive love. You gave me an excuse to leave (Indiana Jones is always a good excuse to leave a long relationship) Now you are my daily dose of Vitamin “C”ompliments and my hook up for projects like these (extra finger snaps go out to you for all your help).
Teron - for being my best friend. You have taught me the meaning of true friendship. You have always loved me for me and you truley understand me. I love you for this.
Family - for reminding me of my roots. When everyone is gone your family remains.
Daylene - for supporting my spirit. You have taught me self respect, the importance of “coincidences”, faith and belief in my intuition.
Luke - for being unique and inspirational. You have shown me the importance of dedication towards your dreams. We have known each other the least and yet we are amazingly close. Our friendship is truley UNIQUE!
Ashley - for being one of my teenage heroines when I was most vulnerable. You are one of the few people who allow me to be as silly and/or as WILD as I want to. You taught me not to worry about what other people think (and now I dont.)

Till the next lesson is learned. Don’t be afraid to paint it PINK.
~